Too fun to resist. One of the Writer’s Workshop’s prompts this week was– take the children’s book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and change it to give a mom something of your choice. This was a favorite book of my kids when they were small, and one of my favorites to read out loud. So, I offer the following in tribute to the original’s author, Laura Joffe Numeroff.
If You Give a Mom a Baby
(Subtitle: The Story of How I Have Three Offspring Instead of One)
If you give a mom a baby, she’s going to begin to sway.
When you give her the baby, the baby doesn’t have to be distraught for her to sway.
When she’s finished swaying, she’ll ask the baby a question.
Then she’ll talk in words that end in long E sounds to make sure the baby understands her lingo.
When she says words like horsie and doggy, she’ll notice the baby begin to grin.
So, she’ll probably use a voice three octaves higher.
When she’s finished babbling incoherently, she’ll want to inhale a big breath of baby smell.
She’ll press her nose to the baby’s scalp and start reeling.
She might get carried away and become light headed.
She may even unsnap the onesie and blow on the baby’s tummy as well!
When she’s done, the baby will probably want to take a nap.
She’ll have to fix up a little spot for him with a blanket and a pillow.
He’ll snuggle in, make himself comfortable and suck on an imaginary nipple in his dreams.
She’ll probably have one hundred other things to do.
Still, she’ll stand on the same spot doing nothing more than watching him sleep, and occasionally she will sigh.
When she looks at the sleeping baby, she’ll get so sentimental that she’ll want one of her own.
She’ll recall how quickly her own babies grew up.
She’ll see a picture.
In the picture, she’ll see only the best things about life with a baby.
Then she’ll want to see this picture come to life.
Which means she’ll need just one more.
She’ll paint her picture for her unsuspecting husband.
Looking at his wife will remind him of the last time they had this talk.
So… he’ll ask for a little time to think about it.
And chances are if he entertains the possibility long enough to think about it, pretty soon he’s going to find himself swaying with a brand new baby in his arms.
